sherriknits

I’m sorry to sound so dramatic. However, it is now officially “the three of us” and it’s feeling a little hard. Ben just got his apartment, it’s one month before the wedding….and now it is down to the 3 of us left at home. I know as this new chapter unfolds, God will be with us every step of the way, but it’s feeling a little hard right now.

Our 3 older kids are official caregivers for Tyler and they each have a part. Ben’s part was to do the morning care and he exceeded all expectation in the way he cared for him. He never had to be asked to bathe Tyler, he just did it. He could even manage to get him dressed if he got up late for work! Tyler is not nearly as cooperative for me, but I know we’ll work through it. It’s just been a little hard because over the last year or so, we’ve found ourselves scrambling to find a babysitter (the kids) and I’ve had a hard time adjusting to it, often forgetting until the last minute. That has to change.

Ahhh, well….he’ll be 16 in a few weeks and we’ve known the day was coming almost every day of his life. The kids will all continue to be there for us and they’ll help us through the transition!

I think it’s time for me to share my God wink I had a few weeks ago, i’ll do it at the end of this post.

Sunday we had our church picnic. We had a great time, the weather was wonderful (in spite of the forecast!)

Tyler got to play volleyball, there he is in his orange shirt, serving!! I guess he got a point one of the times!

Chase is on the other team, this end by the net.

After the picnic, we had to race up to Olympia to help out Rhianna and Kyle. He was officiating his first wedding and they found out Friday night that no kids were allowed to attend. He wanted Rhianna there so we said we’d keep Mayah during the ceremony.

I don’t think she had any idea her mama wasn’t in the car with us when we put her car seat in our car and drove around for awhile.

Then I got to play with her while we waited for her daddy to finish up. Mom was in the backseat and she was happy. I’m glad she’s starting to get over the need to be with mom every second.

Doesn’t he look great in his new suit?

And here’s the happy family.

I’ve been knitting!

These are for a non-knitting friend. I just got a whim and did it.

And then of course, I am still working on the friendship blanket. Someone tell me why the last little bit just seems to take forever?

It has been a fun knit, though. I just am ready to be done. I guess in my head I am finished. I want to start my chickens….but those will be fun holiday weekend knitting!

and now, my God wink.

I was really having trouble falling asleep one night. I listened to my iPod, I put the timer on and when it turned off, I was still awake. I wasn’t worrying but I just couldn’t fall asleep. I started praying. Then I started pouring my heart out…all my frustrations, all my hurts. It felt good. But I was still awake.

I decided to turn my iPod back on. I have to explain my playlist. I am one who can listen to the same songs over and over. I am picky about what I listen to and when I get tired of a song, I’ll replace it…but I only want to listen to what I want to listen to. I get teased a lot about it because my song list is about 12 songs…and I have my current favorite song play every other song.

I have a very dear friend named Sharon. I knew her since she was born and over this last year she has become a friend in her own right. We’ve shared some special times together and she would come to visit me on Fridays. Once she brought in her flash drive and loaded some songs in a playlist titled “Songs from Sharon”…which is special to me because she just moved to California and i am missing her a lot. She even went to all the work of authorizing me to have them (all legal! This is good because I am such a rule follower!) Also, Sharon is the one who taught me about God winks. I had always been in the habit of looking for those special God moments in a day, but I never had a name for them….I loved the idea of God winking at me because that’s what they feel like to me.

Anyway….back to that night. I decided to turn on my iPod and set the timer. I didn’t really feel like hearing that same song repeat in the 20 minutes I set it for, though. I listened to the first 3 songs and then I was going to just skip that song and go to the next. However, I didn’t have my glasses on, I was tired and it was dark and blurry. Next thing I know, here is this song that I had no memory of hearing before….”You’re My Little Girl” by Go Fish.

The lyrics:

vs. 1
The ones you love they let you down
And I want you to know that I’m sorry
The choices that they made were wrong
You were caught in the middle and I’m sorry

So when the anger and the pain
Get the best of you
I know it seems like you’re all alone
But I am feeling it too

Chorus
‘Cuz you’re my little girl
You’re the one that I created
No one in this world could ever be like you
When you’re cryin’ in the night
All you need to do is call me
I’ll be there for you
‘Cuz you’re my little girl

vs. 2
When you’re lookin in the mirror
I hope you’re likin’ what you see
Because no matter what you’re feelin’
You’re perfect to me

Because I see you as a child
Blameless in my sight
Just spend some time with me
And I’ll make everything alright

Chorus

Bridge
I know you don’t deserve what you’ve been through
I know it doesn’t seem fair
I know that there are times you think you’re alone
But you’ve got to know that I will be there, be there

Chorus

I could not believe my ears. Singing back to me were the very words I had poured out of my heart…the hurt, the frustration, the pain. I grew up without a Daddy and it’s been a struggle to me most of my life. I know what God’s word says, but it’s been hard to feel loved and accepted and I don’t know that we ever outgrow that need. I know I haven’t. I suddenly felt like His little girl and He was singing His comfort back to me. I laid in bed and nearly sobbed. I’m surprised I didn’t wake Kenny up. I felt so wrapped in His arms of love and felt so at peace.

Thank you to Sharon, who would always laugh and wonder why I have this iPod with all this room on it and only 12 songs.  That song is special to her, too….and I’m so glad she put it on my iPod for just that moment!

I have been so grateful that my children have grown up with a dad who was there for them and I was incredibly grateful that night that He showed me He was there for me and loved me.

Yep, life is changing but He hasn’t let us down yet and I don’t think He will now!

Tags: my life