sherriknits

At the end of the last post, I said I couldn’t remember what I had wanted to talk about, it finally came to me.

I have a confession. I am a farmer. I am hooked on farming. However, I am a city girl and who knows how I’d do if I actually lived on a farm. I farm on Facebook and it’s been a fun way to unwind from the day and interact with friends, I have too many farmer friends, but I love it.

Ok. The other day I asked a friend to come harvest for me. She said she’d be there in a minute. When she showed up, she told me she was chatting with a friend and told her she needed to go because she needed to harvest for me. The lady laughed and said, “Oh, you farmers!”

What this did was raise instant panic in me. I said to my friend that in the past, I had a friend who totally berated me for the time I spend on my computer. In really judging the situation, I realize she didn’t really even know what I did and it was an instant judgement and probably was a bigger deal to me than her. The fact that my friend touched a button this time and caused a reaction in me really was interesting to me. When I said so to her, she said immediately….”Don’t use her ruler to measure your life!” It was so thought-provoking to me! She doesn’t live my life and I don’t live hers. What I use to relax doesn’t appeal to her, not a big deal.

Anyway, I am totally not into using negative examples about others to prove a point, but I want to remember this one and it really was helpful to me to realize it probably affected me more than it did her and even though I thought I was getting better at not being a people pleaser any more, I was worried about what she thought of me and same with this other lady.

A few days later, I had another experience with another friend. She would sometimes ask me if she could work on my farm as she used her mom’s account. She said she didn’t want to start her own because she gets addicted too easily. The next day, she is asking to be my neighbor and she has her own farm. I said something to the effect of…. oh great, now I have given you a new addiction. She immediately said, you are not responsible for my wasting of time and if I wasn’t doing this, I’d be wasting it some other way. Novel idea. I don’t have to take on the responsibility that was never mine in the first place!

I know this sounds corny, but it really was a wake-up call to me. I think we spend too much of our lives worrying about what others think about us. I have found a fun way to unwind and to visit with friends at the same time and while it may not appeal to many, it’s what works for me. I’m social and love relationship and this is one silly, silly way to visit and it also satisfies a little bit of the creative need in me.

Ahhh, I feel better.

We started therapy again today. Tyler did well and I had a great talk with the therapist about planning for training life skills. I am so grateful for my other kids and the creative things they come up with to do with him. I enjoyed the day with Rebecca, too, and we got a lot accomplished.

Tyler told me the other day when I asked him come do one of his jobs, “This isn’t my job, I work at the tv station” That he does. He empties garbage cans and lines them with new bags and does a great job with them. However, I turned to him and said, “Well, MY job is to work at the yarn store, but I still have to do the dishes!” He emptied the silverware and grumbled the whole time, but he did it! He’s really ticked that he has to do the recycling, too. Makes me laugh.

When we got back to town, I decided we should enjoy the day. We went to Dairy Queen and got ice cream and drove to the river.

Tyler sat on the bench and watched the river while he ate.

I just enjoyed all the pictures so you get to see them too.

Across the river are the closed mills, sitting in silence.

So sad. I used to love watching the chips come out of the shoot and fill the big ships.

As we sat there, the first teacher he ever had walked by and was going to just politely say hello as she passed and then we recognized each other. She stood there visiting with us for quite awhile. Tyler doesn’t remember her coming to our home every week and sitting on a blanket with him. I can’t even remember what we did. Sad.

After a bit, Kenny called so it was time to head home.

First we have to stretch.

Fun day!

Tags: grateful, life, therapy, tyler

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